Re-Defining . . A Continuous Process

Yesterday it occurred to me that, once again, I am in the midst of questioning who I am and what I am doing. And . . it occurs to me (even as I'm writing this) that possibly I've spent my entire life re-defining my goals, re-adjusting my sails, adapting. . and maybe that is exactly what we are supposed to be doing our whole entire lives . . after all, we are dynamic human beings. . .twisting, wiggling, and squirming within the constraints of societal expectations to be unique, to make our mark on the earth . . to say we were here and to have someone else confirm that it was worth having us in their lives. We are forward thinking, we are feeling, we are motivated . .and yes, sometimes we are even stuck. But the truth is that re-defining may be more of a process of refining . . putting flourishes on what seems to be mundane and discovering a niche that catches the light and sets our spirits soaring again.

When I study the theorists, I always think of Abraham Maslow's proposals for self-actualization . . the inherent drive within that urges us to find the best in ourselves and in others . . to become the best we can be . . and in doing so, delight in those "peak experiences" . . those moments of transcendence and peace. And yet, I believe there is more . . that we can develop a pattern of reflection and introspection . . so that re-defining and refining becomes a continuous process . . . of delightful flourishes . .

So today, I have crinkled my nose in that scrunched up way I do when I smile . . and I noticed that my eyes are twinkling a bit . . I've been teaching and reading and swimming . . exercising my mind and body . . creating and speculating. Re-defining what I want from life and in the process, refining who I am. What flourishes have you created in your life lately? If I looked into your eyes . . would I see the sparkle? I'm here and I'm listening . . .

Finding Time for The Good Stuff

OMG! It's 2:20 PM and I've been moving from one item of needed attention to the next since 5:30 AM. Yes, I've had my coffee and done my dishes in between . . .but what I'd really like to do is read . . .or talk with someone about a good book . . .or dissect the latest Yahoo gossip buzz . . or swim. But I know that if I don't keep with it for a bit longer, before long my mind will be saying "uh-uh, no-more" . . and I will be done. So how do we find the time to fit in the good stuff before we're too tired to enjoy it?

I'm open for suggestions? . . Go ahead . . .I'm listening . . .

A Child's Gift of Love

Today is my middle child's birthday . .and I woke up to the sweet memory of my huge rounded belly (clad in brightly colored a tie-dyed shirt) . . my smiling face as I mugged to the camera in the kitchen leaving for the hospital . . and the noisy suckling of this dark headed beauty as she nuzzled in close to become one with me on that afternoon 34 years ago. Amazing, aren't they . . .those children who at once are a part of us and in the same instance are individuals completely separate and unique. I am awed by this process of motherhood . . linking me forever to the lives of three undeniably smart, funny, and successful children (now adults). And although I am proud of who they have become . . and as they continue to flourish . . I am also drawn back in to reflect on the influence they have had on my life (a life I never would have had without them). I am humbled by the precious gift of love . . true love, unconditional love, sticky-gooey kisses . . dirt encrusted nails . . tangled hair, creatively shaved heads . . earring piercings and tattoos. Love. For them, I have pulled myself up by the bootstraps (more times than I sometimes care to remember) . . as they have prodded and nudged me to become who I am, too. And so, on this day I once again will put myself to my work . . to create, to grow, to flourish . . as their love nurtures me . . in ways that no matter what I write can never be captured. But for them . . and for me . . and for those of you who are mothers (and fathers). . you will understand. The stories . ..those lessons we learn from our children are gifts of love . .and for me, they trump all others. How as your child's gift of love changed you? I'm here . . I'm listening . . .

Peacefulness in Everyday Living

What is it about everyday living that makes peacefulness and contentment so difficult? Well, for me, it is the fact that I don't live on an island alone and isolated from others (which is a good thing in the long run) . . and yet, it is that very same fact that often causes us to get caught up in someone else's plans and/or drama. I have found that when I get time for reflection, in the pursuit of self-awareness, my mind rarely stays in "my own backyard". In quiet time, I find that my mind wanders to what my children and grandchildren are doing . . to thoughts of my mom . . to immediate needs of the day or week or month. For me, these relationships are so important . . .and yet, I know that unless I ground and center in my own life, I can be of no real assistance to others. Years ago, I studied meditation and during times of chaos, I would turn off my mind to the external and use focused deep breathing to access my internal self. I used visualization and active imagination to go within. In this practice I could still my racing thoughts and see myself as strong and resilient . . .so that when I returned to my daily tasks, I felt refreshed and peaceful. What are some practices or techniques that you have used to access your inner self? When you are still and can hear your own inner voice, does it provide you with strength and renewed purpose? How is it that you find peacefulness in everyday living? I'd love to hear your thoughts . . .I'm listening :)

I Dwell in Possibility

I dwell in Possibility--

A fairer House than Prose--

More numerous of Windows--

Superior--for Doors--

Of Chambers as the Cedars--

Impregnable of Eye--

And for an Everlasting Roof The Gambrels of the Sky--

Of Visitors--the fairest--

For Occupation--This--

The spreading wide my narrow Hands

To gather Paradise--


Emily Dickinson (#657)

Walking: A Great Time for Personal Reflection

I didn't want to have to walk today . . .I've got so many things on my "to do" list (who doesn't) that it seems ridiculous to stop everything, put on my tennis shoes and "waste" an hour. Wow! I can't believe the warped old thoughts that still plague me and often keep me from changing :) But it is so true! I can easily waste an hour surfing the net (keeping up with blogs takes a ton of time) . .and then there are shoes on the Nordstrom and Zappos sites . . and what about reading the Yahoo headlines for the latest fashion faux-pas? The truth is, I need to focus on where I am going in these next few months with my life . . am I working toward my goal of giving AND receiving? Am I putting in the hours to let my creative spirit soar? Am I really listening to inner self and to the voices of others? As you can see, I really need to walk! I'm headed outside where the breezes rustle through the tree branches, where the birds call to each other and respond, where the squirrels race through the twigs and tree stumps. I'm headed out to ponder and set myself free :) What about you? Do you find that you are more content, more willing to give of and to yourself when you have spent time in reflection? Share your walk with me . . I'm listening :)