A Splash of Rain. . .Small Good Things

I've spent tons of energy over the past couple of years trying to "force" myself to adapt to changes that . . unfortunately . . are just a part of life.  Squishy upper arms, financial hurdling, child-prodigy physicians, boring rainy days, and repetitive work.  The challenge for me has been (and never is) in living through the travails . . .but in my constant need to think ahead, be prepared, have an intelligent perspective, and appear unflustered regardless of the shifting daily requirements. 
The truth is: I never thought I would be who I am!  I am slowly beginning to realize that I always thought I might end up being someone else . . .muscular upper arms (and great legs, too, if I'm going to risk really telling the truth). . .  Jilly Bernanke Bean . . . an age-defying, continue-to-know-it-all colleague . .  who lives in a lush gardened area where it only rains at night . . so I can be creatively stimulated with an abundance of novel ideas.  OMG (I hope I haven't shattered my image:) 

Today, as I run through the puddles of water, I've been suddenly splashed with a good downpour of reality.  I've been comparing the truths of who I am and how I should be living to those I created in a very different world . . one that was stagnant . . and one that was only projected.  I've been living in an outdated dream.  Imagine: Barbara Eden and Sandra Day O'Conner.  

The truth is, most of us hold so tightly to our dreams that we cannot see the small good things.  Friends who prod us to write, sisters who guide us to dream . . and yet sometimes we stubbornly hold on to an image we have been squeezing the life out of since we were twenty, but the truth is that we wouldn't want it now if we got it.  Sometimes, it is hard to let go of something that has inspired us for so long. But if you let go of the dream, a new one can come in that is in line with the person you are today. 

I found a picture of myself at the beach . . warm and content in the sun . . surrounded by squealing children in coconut-scented SPF 50.   In this photo, I'm no longer 20 or 30 (good thing:)  . . but I'm smiling.  I'm living vicariously through this image today, visualizing the joys in my life.

Home . . that smells of Bath and Body's Warm Vanilla Sugar. Flats . . that are Royal Blue Snakeskin Puma's.  Dishes that are washed and drying on the hardwood drainer.  Text messages from my oldest grandson and granddaughter.  A video clip and mailed "worksheets" from my SugarBear and Bub.  The sono images of "little baby" . . strong and resounding heartbeats . . sounds from this most precious gift-in-waiting.

Small good things.

Can you see them?  Can you hear them?  I'm listening . . .as always . ..