Shifting Identities

This morning when I looked in the mirror (yes, I had to get really close to be able to see without my reading glasses :) . . I began to see that I am really changing . . my eyebrows no longer have a full arch (yes, too overplucked for too long). . my lip color has washed to a paler pigment . . the dark circles under my eyes defy the highlighting concealer. .

And yet, I'm going to say it here. . . I still have a definite "look" . . an identity that is uniquely my own.  We all do . . and yet, so many times, we fail to own it.  There are so many days I run around the house in my jammies and a tee . . waiting until I've done my work before jazzing up.  Unfortunately, when I get in a rut . . I never get around to "jazzing" up.  So, if I have to run to the store or run an errand . . well, I tell myself, "no one will notice".  But the truth is, I do.  When those days roll one into another, I feel rumpled, inside and out. . . and I bet my face looks "rumpled", too.

. . .all of this has to do with my shifting identity . . .and if you can relate, yours is probably shifting, too . .

In order to take ourselves seriously . . and to get anything done. . . we have to have an identity (which then also, by context, gives us purpose).  However, just like my changing face as I am ever-so-slightly-getting-older. . .my identity is shifting, too.

In order to define who I am and what I am going to take on . . I've got to choose something and stick to it.  My process and purpose has to be meaningful.  .  . and yet, it only has to make sense to me (however, the caveat here is that it has to be defined and real within myself).

"There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique.  And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.  The world will not have it.  It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable it is, nor how it compares with other expressions.  It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly, to keep the channel open". . Martha Graham

And so for me, today, I am "jazzed up" early :)  I am dressed and ready to work.  I have a mission (and a purpose).  And I'm on track.  Open . . and listening . . .still.