Fall Into Living

Oh my, the passing days have eluded me again!  One moment passes into the next as I fritter away precious days . . and I can't help but wonder if I am out of alignment with myself . . .or is it that I've yet to adapt to the changes that must accompany a dynamic life?  

Just as the seasons change (even in the most temperate of climates), we must change, too.  And yet, I've so resisted! In my mind's eye, I am the same person I have always been . . however, in the mirror, I am not.  In reflection, both external and internal, I am different . . as it should be.  I am older now (even though I hate to admit the age) and even though I relish wonderful memories, I refuse to only live by the past.  As the days pass by unnoticed, I am irritated with myself for my lack of motivation to kick up my heels .. to explore, to be curious, to be amazed .. and to continue to contribute for all I'm worth.


I read an article this week on what people dream of doing when they retire (travel, learn a new language, volunteer, putz around the house, and/or write that novel they have always said they were going to do).  What I wonder is . . 

How many people really DO what they dream of doing? 

I think it takes more than dreaming.  I think it takes planning . . and then doing.  It takes baby steps and, just as babies do, it takes repetition.  And unfortunately, it probably takes a few spills, too . . but I'm up for the challenge.    

Here are a few of my Fall Into Living challenges :)

Choose to do something in and with your life that you have only dreamed of doing  . . and make it your number-one priority! Consistent small steps are always more effective for building a doable routine and getting a project done.

As you are making your list, don't forget to do a "gut check" to see if what you are doing is taking you where you really want to go . . since sometimes we toddle toward something that intrigued us when we were twenty, but the truth is, it no longer match with our values or our energy.  Match your dreams (and your choices) to the person you are today.  

Recognize your own successes!  
  

Celebrate short-term goals that lead to long-term happiness.  Literally check items off of the "to-do" list.  Go out to lunch with some friends and talk about what you've accomplished.  It's impossible to find motivation in isolation.  Share only what has truly been accomplished (since sometimes we want to "stretch" what we are thinking about accomplishing into what we have already done, however, this gets us nowhere fast) and encourage them as they celebrate their own successes, too.

Keep yourself moving forward!

Be creative. . even if it means in the way you clean your sink or wear your hair.  Laugh, listen to music, talk to others, sew, write, sing.  Break a bad habit . . replace it with a good one:)  Meditate . . .be thankful.  Smile.  

Sometimes, the first step is the most difficult to take (there's not enough time today . . there's always tomorrow), however, there is such a wonderful feeling when we do it now. . .when we diligently attend to what is important in our lives.  





Falling into happiness just doesn't happen . . we have to live it.  We must choose to pay attention, to reflect on what we see, and to be in charge of our own lives.  

Let's put our days to good use.  Dream and plan . . and then DO.   

How are you Falling into Living?  I'd love to hear your plans . . and your successes.  

Dr. Jilly Bean

What Happened to the Summer?

Oh my goodness!  I knew I had neglected my writing . . and the blog (for some very good reasons . . like a new grandson:) . . however, I never guessed it had been so long since I checked in. . which in a way, I suppose, is a good thing.  Living takes precedence over writing!  

In the beginning of June we waited, on the 12th of June we celebrated

. . and I guess, we've been celebrating ever since!  

Nothing like a baby to remind us how precious life is . . and how quickly time passes.

In August, we celebrated the 16th birthday of our oldest grandson

. . .see what I mean about time passing quickly?  

What happened to the Summer?  Life:)  

We drove and prayed and text'd and laughed.  We bowled

and played "restaurant"

and ate and hugged. 

We cried and yelled . . .saw baseball games

and tag JFL.  

We beat the pants off each other in Scrabble (ok. . well, the truth is, one person seems to beat the pants off most others:)

We swam

. . and got drenched.  We tanned and air-conditioned.  

We wrote, shouted, cried, text'd and whispered, "I Love You".  

It was extraordinary!  Each one gave me something special that no one else can ever have, know, or take away.  They each gave me a scent, a hug, a feeling, a kiss . . . a bond that lasts forever. 

What happened to the Summer? I've been on vacation with my own family.

How was your summer?  Hope it was filled with life . . and love :)

As always . . I'm listening. . .

Dr. JillyB

The Tipping Point

There was something that struck me when I first read this . . and struck me again today as I was searching for a way of sharing what has been going on in my life this past month. Holy Cow . . Where is the time going?!?

These past few weeks have had me in a tizzy! I have been lonely . . crabby . . bored. I have been irritated at the slightest things and tired.  I've forced myself to walk, to swim, to think. . and even with all of my chutzpah and knowledge . . I have still cried.  Tears of frustration  .. irritation over my inability to control external events (and sometimes my own internal feelings!). 

I believe I've hit the "tipping point" part (again .. aargh!).  I think each one of us comes to this "tipping point" . .where we've GOT to do something to pull ourselves out of either the downward spiral or the flat plateau before we begin searching for the resilience rope.  It's like we have to hang on in the beginning, but over time we eventually realize that just swinging at the mercy of others isn't so great either. .  so we begin to try and climb . . yet  . . . climbing up the rope by ourselves isn't easy (remember the old fitness challenges in grade school) and so we begin to search for something with which to leverage the climb.  

In my case, the search is always at my fingertips.  I can either type it in an email or text . . or hit the speed-dial. Sisters, mothers, daughters, friends. . .the trusted ones.  The ones who will light candles for grace or hope or peace.  The ones who prompt you to do something, anything . . just do it (oh, for god's sake, we know it . . we just need someone to make us accountable:)

And so for me . . when the devil stretches in the morning . . watch out.  I'm resilient.  How about you?  Clean a closet, fold some towels, put on your make-up, write . . and for your sake, smile:)

This is a beautiful life . . precious days . . precious moments. .  precious memories.

As always . . I'm here  . . and listening . . 

The Doctor is in :)  

Perception

Our own perception plays into the evolution of our personality (and one that I find most fascinating).

When I reflect on who I am and what I want to be . . .I can only "see" myself . . I cannot distance myself enough to really see or know the perspectives of others and so my own perception is my "launch" pad.  And here is where I think that personality is influenced by self-perception.

When we think about self-esteem in terms of personality . . .it seems that we think introvert or extrovert or flexibility or rigidity . . and yet, I believe that some of who we are definitely comes from how we perceive ourselves in different situations (rightly or wrongly).

"Take care of one another. Be gentle, be compassionate. Be open to letting someone in when it is you who is faltering. Lend your hand. We need it. The world needs it." (Tripathi family 4-24-13)

As always . . I'm listening . .

A Splash of Rain. . .Small Good Things

I've spent tons of energy over the past couple of years trying to "force" myself to adapt to changes that . . unfortunately . . are just a part of life.  Squishy upper arms, financial hurdling, child-prodigy physicians, boring rainy days, and repetitive work.  The challenge for me has been (and never is) in living through the travails . . .but in my constant need to think ahead, be prepared, have an intelligent perspective, and appear unflustered regardless of the shifting daily requirements. 
The truth is: I never thought I would be who I am!  I am slowly beginning to realize that I always thought I might end up being someone else . . .muscular upper arms (and great legs, too, if I'm going to risk really telling the truth). . .  Jilly Bernanke Bean . . . an age-defying, continue-to-know-it-all colleague . .  who lives in a lush gardened area where it only rains at night . . so I can be creatively stimulated with an abundance of novel ideas.  OMG (I hope I haven't shattered my image:) 

Today, as I run through the puddles of water, I've been suddenly splashed with a good downpour of reality.  I've been comparing the truths of who I am and how I should be living to those I created in a very different world . . one that was stagnant . . and one that was only projected.  I've been living in an outdated dream.  Imagine: Barbara Eden and Sandra Day O'Conner.  

The truth is, most of us hold so tightly to our dreams that we cannot see the small good things.  Friends who prod us to write, sisters who guide us to dream . . and yet sometimes we stubbornly hold on to an image we have been squeezing the life out of since we were twenty, but the truth is that we wouldn't want it now if we got it.  Sometimes, it is hard to let go of something that has inspired us for so long. But if you let go of the dream, a new one can come in that is in line with the person you are today. 

I found a picture of myself at the beach . . warm and content in the sun . . surrounded by squealing children in coconut-scented SPF 50.   In this photo, I'm no longer 20 or 30 (good thing:)  . . but I'm smiling.  I'm living vicariously through this image today, visualizing the joys in my life.

Home . . that smells of Bath and Body's Warm Vanilla Sugar. Flats . . that are Royal Blue Snakeskin Puma's.  Dishes that are washed and drying on the hardwood drainer.  Text messages from my oldest grandson and granddaughter.  A video clip and mailed "worksheets" from my SugarBear and Bub.  The sono images of "little baby" . . strong and resounding heartbeats . . sounds from this most precious gift-in-waiting.

Small good things.

Can you see them?  Can you hear them?  I'm listening . . .as always . ..

What to do in the case of ROADBLOCKS

It seems I have spent most of my life trying to be positive, a part of my nature, I'm sure.  However, I also find that on so many days I am stumbling over and into ROADBLOCKS. . .forcing me to run searching for an affirmation or two to lift me up . . .as I'm icing the growing goose-egged bruise right between my eyes:)

When I apply that proverbial hindsight (ice bag to forehead) . . . I can often see where those ROADBLOCKS might have been warning signs. . . placed in my path to try and prevent me from running headlong in the wrong direction :( 

However, hindsight is just that ~ having vision now that I didn't have then.

And so conversely maybe I should be more mindful . . planning with foresight.  However, truth told, my crystal ball just really has not been all that effective since Dorothy was standing in the fortune-teller's wagon.

What I DO know about roadblocks now (notice how I am speaking in the present) is that I see them differently today than I did even last week.  As I am trying to live more in each day . . to honor what is important in life . . .to appreciate the wonder of living . . .and of truly loving and giving love to those who surround me in compassion and kindness ~ the roadblocks of life become smaller and smaller . . .because my focus has changed. 

When we focus on what is really meaningful in our lives. . becoming mindful of our path to peace and contentment . . we create a more positive community that sustains us in the present and in the future. . .

When our focus is clear . . our perceptions become more acute.  , , and we begin to see wondrous things happening in our lives.

In this new year, it seems that I've had a few (too many) roadblocks.  Today, I'm re-naming them reflective "turning points" . . .opportunities to re-focus on what is important. 

Love .. children .. grandchildren (of course) . . and the joy of discovering something wonderful each new day.  I can see my Dad now when I say this. . not necessarily as we were growing up, but as he was growing old.  Life just becomes more precious when we remember that it is a gift. .  .

And hat we have the opportunity each day to share our gifts with others. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts on what you do to ease your way around, under, or through those "turning points". What is important in your life?  What brings you peace and contentment?

As always, I'm listening . . .really listening . . a gift I'd love to return to you.

A Year of Resolve

Oh my goodness, another year opens up . . offering opportunities that we cannot even imagine!  I don't really want to throw out the old . . it's the basis of who I am. . .however, I do want to "encourage" the new.  (I use encourage as a way of gently nudging myself into more positive behaviors, rather than parenting forced and foreign actions . . .and of course, I have to smile as I re-read this line . . sounding ever-so therapeutic:)

My horoscope this year looks great!  (I can't remember exactly what it said when I read it on the 1st, but it was really promising.)  And it you ask me if I really believe in horoscopes, well . . the truth is, there is so much in the way of the cosmos that we really don't know, I figure I might as well use all of the support that is out there:)

Yes . . even as I see what I am writing and how, in this post. . .I see those crazy smiley faces:) and wonder why I feel the need to use them so often .. and so I've turned to the research that recently has shown that the more often we see smiling images, our attitudes are more uplifted.  Livi Pierre (Oct 2012) shares that positive attitudes bring about positive rewards.  Not a really novel idea . . however, when we think about the opposite . . I'm certain that the grumpy faces and harrumphing attitudes that seem to be omnipresent in our current society are not helping any of us.  And although I've never been known as one to bury my head in the sand in false cheeriness, I've just got to find a way to see the beauty of life again, rather than focusing on what I/we cannot fix (without a miracle).

One of my friends sent me a link to a YouTube video that really renewed my perspective on the beauty of life and the fact that each day is a gift . . Imagine.  It reminds me how small I am and yet, how I hold the potential each day to create a positive world . . both for myself and for each other.

That is my hope for each of us. . as we find our way to new possibilities . . encouraging, supporting . . and as always, listening.

I can't wait to hear how you are challenging yourself to be more positive . . as we encourage and support each other in this fabulous life.